On Sunday, I fell while running at half marathon and scraped my knees, elbow, and the palms of my hands. Runners fall all the time. In fact, it was said that if you haven’t tripped over and fall, you’re not a runner yet. Nevertheless, someone joked, “God has a way of punishing people who miss Sunday service.” Imagine for a moment that it is true. God must love me if he takes the time to discipline me. While this may all be a coincident, I can’t help but to think whether the hard things in life are God’s way of telling me something good.

There’s a song by Laura Story called Blessing. In the song, she sang how it takes a thousand sleepless night to know that you’re near Him; blessings come through raindrops and healing comes through tears. While this is all very comforting, it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you’re in the midst of it all!

We have been meeting with our old pastor recently. Last night, he asked us some very important questions. Something challenging for me is that the answer is: We not ready yet. While marriage and having a family is something I look forward to,  I will cherish it even more when we know that it’s the right time and we’re both ready to move  forward.  Something nice that I have discovered is that I’m still young:-)

I went rock climbing yesterday. Even though I built a lot of endurance as a runner, I have no upper body strengths whatsoever. On my first ascend, I would have quitted. Halfway through the first climb, I mustered all my strengths to reach for the next step, but it was slightly out of my range of motion. I was stuck. It reminds me of how life is sometimes. Sometimes, I find it hard to keep on going; to meet expectations, face disappointments. Things seem to be distorted and I can’t put things in the right perspective. When my world seems to be at a standstill, I have no one to talk to, even though God is always there to listen. Maybe I’m losing my mind. Maybe I’m not.

“Rest!” William yelled from the bottom of the rock wall. The safety rope was connected to him, so I can’t fall. I forgot that he was supporting me. I just sat back and rest. After a few minutes, I tried again. Sometimes, my own strength is not enough and I need the help of other people. Just when I think I can’t go anymore, I went because of a word of encouragement, giving me insights to things I can’t see for myself.

After I passed the bend, or the most difficult part, the rest of the way was like clockwork. I climbed the rest of the way. I tapped the top of the wall, surprised at what I thought was impossible. Sometimes, it’s okay to fail too. It’s okay to not be able to reach the top.  The important thing is to keep climbing, keep trying, and most important of all, to rest. I like rock climbing. It reminds me of life.

It’s really hard for me to write a generic letter and send it to everybody. I miss the act of writing personal letters and sending them through snail mail. So I’m going to do both. I’ll attempt to write a letter to a different person each week and report to my blog, to keep myself accountable. This is a way to keep others aware of my missions trip to China and a way to keep in touch with friends, outside of facebook, e-mail, and chats! When was the last time I wrote to my brother, my favorite teachers, or friends that I haven’t seen in a long time? Anyway, I wrote a letter to a friend in Chicago today, asking him to support me in prayer for my missions trip. May I share them with you as well? (See below.)

Prayer Requests

1) Glorify God through our actions directly or indirectly. We will conduct ourselves in a way that would draw people to us, so that they’ll have a curiosity to know more about him. We’ll be working with the teachers in China. Please pray that we can share both teaching practices and God’s love for them.

2) To trust in God- I will be away from family and friends for six weeks. Sometimes I will not get to talk or write or hear from them. Please pray that I’ll trust in God and let go of any fear in my heart and mind.

3)Safety- Please pray that my team and I will take care of ourselves so that we’ll not get sick. As we travel to and from the US, pray that air travels would be safe. I love to go running, but please pray that it would be safe to run on the streets:-) Hope we can find our way around without problems.

4)Unity-please pray for unity for our team and that we would work together using the gifts that God has blessed us with. Through this missions trip, please pray that God will use us and grow us to be more like him.

5)Good communication please pray that I’ll be careful with all my communication with people at home, as China is a closed country. In China, help us to be bold to practice and speak Mandarin to reach out.

It has been awhile since I last wrote on my blog. I always want to get everything perfect, which takes a long time. So it becomes overwhelming to write just an entry on my blog. My friend encouraged and told me that the best way to keep up with a blog is to write everyday. While I may not be able to do it everyday, I’ll do it every week.

I have recently read “Intro to Mainland Chinese Soul.” It is interesting to read it as an immigrant. I am not an ABC (American Born Chinese) or an FOB (Fresh Off the Boat), but somewhere in between! I think growing up as a Chinese immigrant gave me some insider information already:-) I guess I have always known how Chinese behave, but it’s insightful to see it put into words. My next task is to finish “Don’t Waste Your Life,” by John Piper. I’m about half-way through.

It has been awhile since I last wrote on my blog! Praise for the support from family and friends. I have raised about half of the money that I need to make the first payment in April, towards the missions trip in July.
Please pray for the placement of my assignment. My family worries for my safety: They prefer that I will be placed in a big city. I pray that I will be placed where God wants me to be. At the same time, my family will have a peace of mind that I’ll be safe. I will find out the placement of my assignment in April/ May.

When I was at a retreat with Timothy fellowship two years ago, Tim “Sir” gave us an analogy of life using golf balls, pebbles, sand, gravel, water, and a jar. When he tried to pour the sand and the gravel first, the materials didn’t fit into the jar. However, after he prioritized putting in the golf balls and pebbles first, everything else fitted into place. The golf balls, he said, are major aspects of our lives, such as health, family, and friends. The pebbles are the extras but necessary things like a good job, shelter, a car or means of transportation. The sand, gravel, and water are like the flowers you see along the way, that makes the journey all the more meaningful.

Today, Pastor Clive asked us to look back at life in the rearview mirror and challenged us to respond to God’s blessings. The illustration above came into the picture. God has blessed me with a good job, a loving family, and friends who care about me. I’m also blessed with William who loves the Lord and served the people around him wholeheartedly. Though I might be old to my students, I am still young and am able to do things with good health.  One of the reasons I’m “afraid” to go on missions is that I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life, which seems to be the reality of many missionaries. But I must take a leap of faith, as a response to all the blessings that God has given me, by taking on this summer missions trip to China:-)

I am amazed by how thoughtful and loving kids are sometimes to their parents. I used to bake for my class. Sometimes it would be brownies. Other times it would be banana bread. On more than one occasion, a student would take a bite out of it and ask for a napkin, “I want to save it for my mom.” While it is possible that they didn’t like it, I like to believe that they really like it and want to share it with someone they love.

During cooking class over the summer, this boy wanted to save a cookie for his mom, while other kids would just eat what they can and save the rest for themselves later. Joshua has always been a very quiet student, but he never fails to reveal his affections in unique ways.   He asked me to wrap the cookie and then he placed it carefully in his pocket. I’m sure that by the end of a day, the cookie would have crumbled into many, many pieces. But I imagine that his mom would still appreciate every bit of it!

After teaching for several year, I had a chance to teach quite a few siblings, of former students. I am baffled by how one sibling can be so different from the other. Just like, how challenging my class is this year, in comparison to my classes in previous years: I have never had so many challenging and needy students all in one class!

I shouldn’t be so surprised. As much as my brother and I are alike, we don’t have identical personalities. Our parents learn to enjoy us in our unique ways. I shouldn’t compare one class with another, but take each class as it is. In time, I hope to recognize the “cookie” from this class, in its unique configuration.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I am writing to you in hopes that you’ll pray with me for a local summer mission. After going to Urbana this year, I see a need in reaching out to my own community at large. What can I do on a daily basis that can make a bigger impact than going overseas to Taiwan?

Thanks to Katy for her encouragement as we explore different opportunities in missions. From my trip to Taiwan last summer, I learned that not knowing the language is a barrier. There were only so much I could do as a foreigner. Here in the United States, I know the language. There are a group of children that I work with everyday. Like the children in Wanhua, Taiwan, my students hardly get to go places outside of school.

While I could not take them to faraway places physically, I could bring visitors to them, transforming the school into a place that they’ve never been to, through cooking, art projects, and games. Auntie Pat has volunteered to share her favorite food/stories from her childhood; Auntie Katy will teach conversational English to the parents; Jason, Jamie, and a few others have volunteered their time to help with anything that is needed; My brother will Skype from Shanghai to share about the local food or culture.

Please pray for the following areas of need. The workshop will take place from July 12th to July 23rd, Monday to Friday, 9 am to 12 noon.

(1) Health and safety- children will be careful in using kitchen equipment; I will be prepared for minor injuries; safe travels for all to and from the school site; everyone will be healthy and not get sick.

(2) Children and parents will experience the love of God from different activities and through the speakers who come to visit them.

(3) Praise that the principal has allowed this opportunity, even though we’re not permitted to share bible stories or songs directly. Pray for creative ways to reach the kids, through Veggie Tales or songs.

(4) Learn from this experience what it is that God want us to see; gain new insight/idea for the next project or continuation of this program.

(5) Good attendance: Kids, volunteers, and parents will find joy in being there; have unity as a team or small community.

Please help through your prayers. Thanks so much!

I’ll let you know how it turns out:-)

In Him,

Bonnie

Pastor Norbert asks us to share with one or two people deeply, in our Christian walk. So I want to share with you, my readership of one or two people:-) He said that there is only so much you can grow from head knowledge of the the bible or listening to the sermons. One of God’s greatest gift to us is that he places people around us, so that we don’t have to struggle alone and that perhaps others could see us, in a way that God meant for us to become.

My greatest fear in life is that I am not good enough for anyone or anything. There are times I truly believe in that: What could I possibly have to offer to others? It prevents me from reaching out. When something happens (and they do), I keep thinking and thinking about the situation, instead of taking things as they are. These are old habits that die hard. There you have it, that’s the darker side of me, in a nutshell:-) hehehehe

A few weeks ago, my mom called from Hong Kong, telling me that my grandma was in the hospital, with a stroke for the second time. The first stroke left my grandma paralyzed from the neck down, 5 years ago. She still recognized us from time to time. This time, however, when she opens her eyes, she has a blank look on her face. The doctor told my dad to be prepared. It was uncertain how much longer she would live.

Not being able to eat again, her stomach was connected to a tube, so her body would get the necessary nutrients. Auntie Linda, a nurse, said that my grandma might be in great pain. It is best if we decrease the intake of food, so she can pass away “naturally.” But my parents find it impossible to do, for someone whom they love so much. I pray that God will have special grace for my grandma, and that she does not have to endure any pain.

Throughout her life, my grandma has always been a super strong woman. She was the last and only surviving child of a line of siblings. All her brothers and sisters never lived to adulthood. My grandma doesn’t know how to read or write. This is common among women in her generation. When she was my age, she escaped to Macau, making a living by rolling incense. She and my grandpa worked as a waiter and dishwasher to make ends meet.

When I was little, my grandma would take me to the zoo, to the restaurant to have dim sum, and to visit her mother, whom I called “Ah-Bak.” Unable to take care of herself, her mother lived at a convalescent home. Grandma always brought Ah-Bak the only favorite food that she could eat, Ma Lai Go, a type of Chinese dim sum. “I would never want to be that way, not being able to move or take care of myself,” Grandma said to me. Little did she know that she would be in a similar place, throughout the latter part of her life.

Every cloud has a silver lining, something wonderful happened this past month. When I returned from my visit to Shanghai, I was surprised that there was a vase of flowers sitting in front of my house. My uncle and I ran up the steps to my front door, wondering who could have sent them to me. Next to the vase was a letter.  I recognized the writing on the envelope right away. “It’s from him,” I told my aunt and uncle who was just as surprised and excited as I was. As they left and as soon as I got into the house, I read the letter over and over again, making sure that I was not in a dream.

I have always wanted to open a school. This summer, I have a chance to do a pilot class at work. I’m thinking of calling it School of Cooking for Kids, or Miss Lee School of Cooking. I can’t decide if I want to make a class for kids, or kids with their siblings, and/or parents.

The parents could practice English by demonstrating how to cook their favorite dishes from home. My friend Katy is offering to help out. I think she would love learning how to cook Hispanic dishes from the parents , while she could help them with their English! Before I ask for help, I need to figure out what it is that I can already do by myself. I want to make it fun and exciting for those who want to come as guest teachers/ chefs. I’m quite excited by the idea! The project will culminate to a picnic at the Hollywood Bowl’s Bugs Bunny at the Symphony on July 16th or 17th .

The most important thing in this endeavor is to share the gospel through bible stories and songs with the children. Since this is not possible, the principal suggested that I could show Veggie Tales videos that have a focus on “non-religious” values. I don’t know how to tie in cooking with Veggie Tales. Maybe we could cook alphabet/ vegetable soup, and then have a screening of a movie? I don’t know! The soup recipe comes from a textbook I love, called Kidscooking. It has lessons in making everything from muffins, chickens, to brownies.

Since I am getting special permission to use the school ground, it is important that I help the kids practice academic skills. If the students create their own recipes book as a final project, they could practice their writing skills, by telling  a story behind their recipes. Kids could learn simple editing skills on the computer to create a cookbook. In addition, if they present a cooking show for the rest of the class, they could acquire presentation skills in the process of cooking.